Mommy Worries

For most of my life, I've been a carefree kind of girl. I never worried too much about my well being or health. I used to think people who did worry about those things were paranoid worrywarts. Sigh. Then came the mommy hormones.

It is a rare night that I don't lie awake worrying that each ache and pain is a symptom of a blood clot. That may seem a strange thing to worry about, but both my mother and her sister had blood clots during or shortly after their pregnancies. In fact, my mother had a pulmonary embolism (that would be a blood clot IN HER LUNG) when I was just 6 months old. You may recall that my little Johnny is just 6 months old. Now my worrying makes sense, right??


I am a firm believer in creating one's own reality. I also enjoy picking up Louise Hay's "Heal Your Body" when someone I know suffers from a chronic pain or illness. Basically, Louise Hay tells us that our physical symptoms are indicative of deeper emotional/mental issues that we must deal with in order to do away with the physical pain.


So just for fun, I decided to look up blood clots and heart attacks (my mom's brother had one of those - and he wasn't even pregnant!). Here's what I found:


Blood Problems - Clotting: Closing down the flow of joy.

Heart - Attack: Squeezing all the joy out of the heart in favor of money or position, etc.


I guess this isn't a huge surprise, but I find that I am losing my joy as I worry more about blood clots. I'm so afraid of having one sometimes that I can think of nothing else - and I certainly don't enJOY anything while I'm worrying.

Hay's prescription is a mantra - I awaken new life within me. I flow. OR I bring joy back to the center of my heart. I express love to all. While I am not one to do the whole mantra thing, I do try to be mindful of my attitude ... so, I'm trying to be mindful of joy. We'll see how this plays out.