Should I Start Faking It?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, sex is different after you've had a child. I'm not talking about post-delivery *physical* issues (having had a C-section, I never had the pleasure of dealing with that). I'm talking about the desire, or lack thereof, for a physical relationship after giving birth.

After Johnny was born, my desire for sex seriously tanked. I think it was around the third or fourth month that I first craved sex again, but it, sadly, turned out to be a one-off occasion. I guess it's easily explained - my hormones are still all over the place (see my PMS post), I'm not getting good, comfortable sleep (*you* try getting a good night's sleep with a 25 lb baby tossing and turning against your side!), and my need for physical affection is met with a surplus from the young one.

Most of my nights and a good portion of each day are spent touching, holding, nursing, nuzzling, changing, and playing with Johnny. When I do have a chance to put him down, I look forward to not touching anyone! Of course, the problem is that my husband is *not* getting this level of physical attention and he has needs. Compared to my baby, my husband (with his rough chin, stinky breath and lack of concern for tender nipples) isn't too appealing right now.

I really don't know what to do. I never wanted to be a manipulative woman who fakes sexual interest in order to keep a man around. I had disdain for such women and their weakness - who *needs* a man, anyway? I thought if you have to fake it, maybe that's not the right man for you. Sigh.

I guess it's easy to have such a strong opinion before you find yourself in a situation wondering how you can act convincingly interested. I LOVE my husband - this is not the problem. The problem is that I just don't have much interest in sex right now. And as time goes on, his needs are growing while my desire is flat lined. Here's hoping one of us experiences a change and soon!